Welcome Home
*I have yet to proof read this*
I find that I always have a list in mind of the things that I want to write that stays there for quite a long time here. Writing is so hard sometimes, perhaps mostly because I am hopelessly inefficient.
I have been back for a couple of weeks now and sometimes it feels like we only get to sit down as we are going to bed. It is just as busy here now as it was in the weeks leading up to Christmas and the new year. The ease with which I occupy every last minute of my day never fails to amaze me - it's often not positive. This weekend was an excellent reminder of that.
We spent the weekend at a monestary in the desert maybe an hour and a half from home yet completely removed from the city in every direction. The focus was solitude - and how I needed it!
At home (Kansas home) things are often quiet; personal time is in an abundance. Here, not so much, though I suppose I am often the talkative one. It was so nice though to get away from all of the sounds and the complete sensory overload that I call home.
We spent the day in silence - no talking. I know that some of my housemates got bored with the quiet. I suppose it makes sense, coming from younger families with younger siblings.
I welcomed it.
So often I feel the need to awkwardly fill some void that opens up between me and some unsuspecting near-sitter. But why should I feel such a keen obligation to do so? Silence is such a beautiful thing! In silence, I run no risk of falling into an uncomfortably political conversation in which nobody knows enough to formulate an opinion. In silence, I don't have to fear offense or affliction. In silence I am free to look back into myself and unwrap that inner voice that I often drown out with mind candy.
There is danger to it too of course. I definitely drank way too much coffee yesterday . . . which has resulted in my less than healthy state today (I'm sure there were other factors too). I am cranky today and frustrated with people who don't want to communicate directly. I am stressed because PATH has some big events on the horizon, one of which I am supposed to be spearheading and this three-day weekend every weekend thing is crippling in getting it all lined out. Tomorrow will be the moment(s) of truth.
The next on my list, fed into I suppose by this exact thought is Rick Holland's commentary on women in the work force. That actually fits so perfectly that I would e-mail him if only I knew him better. All I can say now is that it is now 10 til 11 and this week I have promised myself an 11 o'clock bedtime. I must bid the world good night and pray that it will reappear when I open my eyes tomorrow.
Thank God for opportunities to break shells and ignorance on such solid stones as His foundations
Wendy
I find that I always have a list in mind of the things that I want to write that stays there for quite a long time here. Writing is so hard sometimes, perhaps mostly because I am hopelessly inefficient.
I have been back for a couple of weeks now and sometimes it feels like we only get to sit down as we are going to bed. It is just as busy here now as it was in the weeks leading up to Christmas and the new year. The ease with which I occupy every last minute of my day never fails to amaze me - it's often not positive. This weekend was an excellent reminder of that.
We spent the weekend at a monestary in the desert maybe an hour and a half from home yet completely removed from the city in every direction. The focus was solitude - and how I needed it!
At home (Kansas home) things are often quiet; personal time is in an abundance. Here, not so much, though I suppose I am often the talkative one. It was so nice though to get away from all of the sounds and the complete sensory overload that I call home.
We spent the day in silence - no talking. I know that some of my housemates got bored with the quiet. I suppose it makes sense, coming from younger families with younger siblings.
I welcomed it.
So often I feel the need to awkwardly fill some void that opens up between me and some unsuspecting near-sitter. But why should I feel such a keen obligation to do so? Silence is such a beautiful thing! In silence, I run no risk of falling into an uncomfortably political conversation in which nobody knows enough to formulate an opinion. In silence, I don't have to fear offense or affliction. In silence I am free to look back into myself and unwrap that inner voice that I often drown out with mind candy.
There is danger to it too of course. I definitely drank way too much coffee yesterday . . . which has resulted in my less than healthy state today (I'm sure there were other factors too). I am cranky today and frustrated with people who don't want to communicate directly. I am stressed because PATH has some big events on the horizon, one of which I am supposed to be spearheading and this three-day weekend every weekend thing is crippling in getting it all lined out. Tomorrow will be the moment(s) of truth.
The next on my list, fed into I suppose by this exact thought is Rick Holland's commentary on women in the work force. That actually fits so perfectly that I would e-mail him if only I knew him better. All I can say now is that it is now 10 til 11 and this week I have promised myself an 11 o'clock bedtime. I must bid the world good night and pray that it will reappear when I open my eyes tomorrow.
Thank God for opportunities to break shells and ignorance on such solid stones as His foundations
Wendy
Comments
Post a Comment